My position has entailed writing the project’s Bible Study material with the three other PD’s of Discipleship, discipling women, working with the leadership team to plan the project theme and weekly themes, and giving a talk for our weekly meeting.
Initially, I was terrified of my position. I have never had huge leadership positions, and I felt incapable and inadequate. And relying on my own strength, I am inadequate and incapable. However, I don’t have to. The Lord is my strength and my portion forever, and so I cannot fail because I have nothing to prove. That is the most important and distinct life change in perspective that I’ve experienced and learned through the past 3 weeks.
Talking in front of 120 people about God for an extended period of time is the last thing I ever expected to do during my summer, but clearly the Lord had different plans. Last night I gave the 25 minute talk during the meeting. This means that I prepared it, practiced it, and was completely left to decide the passage and point that I would focus on. I thought it was going to be terrible, and was trying to rest in the knowledge that if I was doing it for the Lord, then no matter how the outcome, it would be successful because I was stepping out in faith and obeying him. And he totally met me in that and pulled everything together in an amazing and supernatural way. I actually ended up really enjoying it, and every single person encouraged me and told me that the Lord really used the words I spoke to touch their lives. So that was awesome and crazy!
The coolest part was that my whole produce department from SuperFresh came to support my friend and I (she was giving her testimony), and so they got to hear the gospel in multiple forms. A group on project performed the Everything Skit flawlessly and passionately which really stuck out to them as well. They said that they truly enjoyed themselves and didn’t feel awkward, which was just totally the Holy Spirit working, and I think last night was actually one of the highlights of this whole summer for me.
(Berkeley people! Plus Kayla ... SF still counts!)
So, we’ve reached the one week countdown, and my heart is just aching. I am so torn between Ocean City, NJ, Berkeley, CA, and Long Beach. I don’t want to leave the 104 students who have eternally impacted my life, Shannon, Chris, Rudy, Rob, Casey, Vivian, Candace, Eren, Johnny, and all the other SuperFresh produce workers who have become my Jersey family, Mary - my adopted mom, and this city with its boardwalk, Wawa, humidity, and life changing memories and experiences that I’ll have forever. But I am so excited to go home to my family, to take part in my sister’s wedding events, to talk with my brother, hug my parents, see my grandfather, and be in California again. I can’t wait to go to school, to see my sorority sisters, to see my best friends in the world, and go back to my awesome job with Event Services... The list goes on and on for what I’m excited to return to, and so I’m torn! But what I know with full and complete assurance is that God is with me whether I am here or there. “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.” (Psalm 62:5-6)
And so I embrace the change, the trial of figuring out how to cope with closing this summer... and even in the pain and mixed emotions, finding joy in the Lord and resting in the consistency of his presence and love regardless of where I’m at.
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