Being a Christian in the Greek System: Reflections of a not-so sorority girl…

I hate reputations. I hate ignorant judgments. I hate that I care about the first and give out the latter. And I hate that there is a whole system at almost every single college in the United States that fosters and thrives on both of those things. Yet, on the surface level, that’s what the Greek system is and does.

I remember the feeling of going through recruitment my first week at Cal and having no idea what I was doing. I remember being so shy during parties that I barely said anything about myself. And I remember the feeling of looking at my list of chapters to attend each day and feeling absolutely crushed when I was cut from places that I thought liked me.

You see, I wanted to be where the pretty girls were, where the women were so socially cool that I never felt awkward, where I could proudly tell people what house I joined and they would instantly respect and like me.

Really.

But, really?

I wanted to be in those places because I was insecure about my looks, my social skills, my talents, and my reputation. I thought that putting on the right letters could solve my insecurities.

However, under those smiling, beautiful, makeup-full faces are real women. Students, friends, sisters, girlfriends, club presidents, dancers, volunteers: people with weird humor, insecurity, awkward laughs, favorite foods, embarrassing stories, awesome jobs, different religious beliefs, personality.

I didn’t have any idea that that was what I was getting myself into. Going through recruitment is a week of emotional highs and lows, expectations and disappointments, and a whole lot of self-esteem problems; but joining a sorority is a commitment to a group of women. I’m finally catching myself in the moments when I start wishing I was better at “going out,” making people laugh, catching guys’ attention, wearing my letters, looking snappy in my sleep, etc. (the list goes on and on), and instead I am practicing looking around me at the hearts behind the faces of my sisters, seeing their emotion written on their sleeve, and loving them over lunch. Taking the focus off of me and onto others.

I’m not good at it yet, but I am so so glad that I am having this realization. Truly, I am thankful for being a Gamma Phi Beta, and a member of the Greek system at Cal because of this lesson. I think God has really used a system whose main focuses are on appearance, performance, achievements, and relationships to show me that the real value comes from the heart and soul, the life, the time, the investment: the people.

Now, may the rest of recruitment be blessed, may the PNMs be at ease, and may we all get a new group of women who are open to learning this lesson as well!